As usual I started my morning with the Lord reading my Bible and doing devotions. The first words in Isaiah 30:20 seemed to jump off the page at me. “The Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction.”
It was one of those mornings I woke after having another unusual vision in a dream. It had been more like a short five second video clip that had shot through my sleeping thoughts. I saw an unopened package of saltine crackers floating on water. I know, weird—right? It’s even more peculiar that I wake up remembering what takes place in my mind while sleeping.
As usual I started my morning with the Lord reading my Bible and doing devotions. The first words in Isaiah 30:20 seemed to jump off the page at me. “The Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction.”
Earlier this week I journaled about how I came about finding Author Academy Elite to help publish The Immanuel Quilt. It seems fitting that I also tell the incredible story of how I was led to Printing Partners, the company who printed the book.
AAE Coach Kary delivered on his promise to provide all the coaching advice I needed to finish the book. What I didn’t realize when I signed up for the program was that the only print option available through AAE was black and white print on demand books. Obviously I couldn’t write a book about a colorful quilt and not have color photos.
I wasn’t the only author who had signed on with AAE needing colored pages for her book. Michele Eich had written a children’s book needing colorful pages to illustrate her story, Mari about a caterpillar. Kary sought and found a printer who could do both of our books. All seemed to be well.
"Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord." Romans 12:11 NIRV
Faith. The speaker at the conference said it moves forward. And it moves backwards. I understood what he meant. It’s the kind of faith I have been living since saying yes to God and starting the Immanuel Quilt Ministry. Getting to the conference I encountered a lot of back and forth faith.
I was driving to Columbus Ohio to speak at the Igniting Souls Conference about The Immanuel Quilt. I'd be taking the stage with about forty other authors from the AAE tribe who would also be promoting their books. It wasn’t the thought of the stage that frightened me---it was the thought of getting there.
Yes, I still struggle with traveling anxiety. I absolutely did not want to go to Ohio alone. I thought I’d found a solution when fellow tribe member, Suzanne Stearman offered to pick me up on her way through Indiana from Missouri. It apparently was not God’s plan. The logistics weren't working out for me to meet up with her. I knew the Spirit was telling me to drive myself this time. And so for the first time ever, I ventured out on a road trip alone.
Yesterday our pastor opened with a story of young twin boys who were completely opposite of one another. One was a pessimist and the other an optimist. With concern their parents talked to a psychologist asking how they might help their boys learn to discern matters with the right perspective. The psychologist suggested for the boys next birthday to shower the pessimist with all sorts of gifts, and for the optimist—to nicely wrap a large box of manure. It was a test to see if the twins would respond any differently.
Staying true to form, the pessimist complained about every gift he opened. Not the right color. The car didn’t go fast enough. And so on and so on. The optimist, he opened his gift and just started laughing. He told his parents, “You can’t fool me. A box with this much manure has to have a pony in it.”
How many times do we look at our situations with the wrong perspective? God showed me in my dream last night that it’s what I’ve doing. He showed me that as of late—I’ve been acting like a pessimist full of complaints.
Scene One: My husband, Tom, and I were standing in the kitchen of a new home my son had apparently just bought. The kitchen appeared to be a third of the size of our home. It was incredibly large, had all the newest, most high-tech appliances available and was equipped with several cook tops. The countertops were oddly about a foot taller than standard height. I stood complaining to my husband.
“Why would our son buy this house? He doesn’t need a kitchen of this size? And those countertops! He’s not a giant. Why would he want those?”
Scene Two: After spending the night at our son’s new home we woke to find that he had made us breakfast before having gone to work. He’d made enough to feed an army. There was bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy, fruit, and smoothies—you name it—he had fixed it. There was food everywhere that he had prepared just for us. Yet…I complained.
“Why did he make all this food? There is only the two of us. I can’t even reach the stove-top. I’ll have to get a ladder to fill my plate. And this mess! It’s going to take me all morning to clean it up.”
In my dream my husband responds with an answer that is so typical of something he would say. “It’s all right. I’ll fill your plate for you. I’ll get you whatever you want and do whatever you need.”
Scene Three: I see my mother standing in the kitchen and I tell her that I didn’t know that she was there. She held up a pair of aloe infused socks and said, “I came for these.” I remember thinking in the dream: Why would you go to your grandson’s home for a pair of socks?
After that I woke up.
Now you may think this is just a weird dream, but not me. I know that God was definitely pointing out my poor behavior and trying to get my attention. Under pressuring anxiety at the thought of traveling alone to Ohio to speak at the Igniting Souls Conference and at the reality that the book, The Immanuel Quilt will be out in a few days a spiritual warfare was going on within me. With increasing doubts and fears--my emotions were all over the place. I began complaining, and crying, about everything: traveling alone, having purchased a large quantity of books that no one might want to buy. Even my hair cut and having to dog sit had me in a dither. Complaint. Complaint. Complaint. Sin. Sin. Sin. So…God chose a dream to show me I had the wrong perspective on the situation.
Analyzing the Dream
The house was not our son’s home. It represented God’s house. He dwells with those who abide in Him. Tom and my son were representing attributes of Jesus.
Our son is always doing more than what is necessary. For example, in his high school speech class instead of just giving his speech—he dressed in costume. In college not making the school’s baseball team, rather than just joining a league team, he formed a team. He didn’t just order the team t-shirts either. He went out, secured sponsorships and provided the team with uniforms. This is what God does—He provides us with more than what is necessary.
Tom represented other attributes of Jesus: loving-kindness and a generous, giving spirit and one who is always willing to serve others. In the dream Tom had said, “It’s all right. I’ll fill your plate for you. I’ll get you whatever you want and do whatever you need.” This is exactly what Jesus says to us.
The high countertop—the one out of reach—represents this journey that I am on with the Immanuel Quilt. In a million years I would never have dreamed of being called into a traveling ministry or writing a book. I thought these were unattainable things out of reach for me. Yet look what God has done. He’s made the impossible possible.
What about those socks? Well, they were special socks coated with aloe to sooth the feet. These are the kind of socks that create a sensation of a spa-like experience…which of course brings peace and tranquility.
Through a dream I was allowed to see that I needed to change my perspective from that of a pessimist to that of an optimist. And asking God to forgive me, I then I thanked Him for the gift of this incredible journey. Thanks to the Lord for fitting my feet with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
This is the BIG week guys. In just three days, the books will be in my hands. There is still time to pre-order your copy HERE and receive devotionals on thirty Names of Jesus before the offer expires at the end of the month. As always keep following and keep sharing the Immanuel Quilt Journey.
P.S. I’m not traveling alone to Ohio after all. A woman from Missouri driving to the conference through Indiana is letting me hitch a ride. Praise Jesus!
9.28.17 Clay County Indiana DAR
It was wonderful to get a call from my long-time friend, Leesa, asking me to come and speak to the Clay County Chapter of the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). My sister, Jodi, was the organizer of this, the Eliza Rizley Stacey Chapter.
The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded in 1890 with the simple mission of promoting historic preservation, education, and patriotism. Eligibility for becoming a member is based on proving blood-lineage to a patriot who fought for America’s freedom.
The motto for the DAR is simple: God, Home, and Country. Before any business was conducted or any food was partaken, with thanksgiving, they first gave honor and praise to our Lord by praying in the Name Above All Names—Jesus Christ.
This meeting and pitch-in meal was held at Leesa’s home. The quiet country sitting over-looking her strip-pit lake caused some of us to wish for a serene place like it. A tranquil place that we could call home—or at least a home away from home.
In honor of our country and for those who have fought for America’s freedom, we stood, as they do for every meeting, and recited the Pledge of Allegiance. And still standing, we sang the Star-Spangled Banner.
Did you know that Banner is a Name for Jesus? In your mind, just go through the words of our National Anthem and see if you are able to replace the subject of America, with Jesus.
O say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light--
He is the Bright and Morning Star who appears before the break of dawn.
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming--
To hail is to praise publicly. I desire to hail the Name of Jesus.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight
By His stripes we are healed. Unto death Jesus fought for us.
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming,
And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our Flag was still there.
People watched as Jesus was crucified on the cross. In order that we may live in eternal freedom—He sacrificed His life. His death and resurrection is proof that our Banner still waves! God is with us.
Listening as the members conducted their meeting it was obvious this group of women were living up to the mission for which the organization was founded. Projects both past and present represent the DAR’s mission of promoting historic preservation, education, and patriotism.
God. Home. And Country. We have a Redeemer in our lineage who makes us eligible to become a Daughter of the King of kings. So let’s lift our Banner high. Pledge our allegiance to Jesus Christ. And make it our mission to promote His Story.
May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the
name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
You my friends wanted it, you asked for it, and God has made it possible. The Immanuel Quilt - A True Story of One Ordinary Woman, One Unique Quilt, and One Extraordinary God will be in print and in my hands by this time next month!
Getting the website set up with a store so that the Immanuel Quilt can be purchased online was no easy task for me. I struggled with the process and was forced to call the domain service for help. What a blessing that turned out to be!
When the customer service gal on the other end of the line pulled up the website, she exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! I know about this quilt!"
This young sounding girl proceeded to tell me the story about the Immanuel Quilt. She called it an "amazing and incredible story." It was her grandmother who had told her about the Immanuel Quilt. Amazingly, her grandmother has never been to a presentation. She doesn't even live in my home state, Indiana -she lived in California! A friend had told her of it, and then in turn, she passed the story on to her granddaughter -in Massachusetts!
Coast-to-coast people are talking about the Immanuel Quilt and sharing His Story. His good word and good works travel fast when we are willing to share them with others.
Who will you be sharing The Immanuel Quilt with to tell His Story?
"We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deed of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders." -Psalm 78:4 NLT
Receive 30 devotions on the Names of Jesus portrayed in the Immanuel Quilt for free with your pre-order purchase.
The sound on my phone went off alerting me to an incoming text. Checking my phone, the message was from Damon. It read: Pray for me.
Damon is a young man that my son Ty met in college. They’ve been friends ever since. A year ago Damon asked if I would be willing to text him a Bible verse each day. This request came after we’d both been to the baby shower hosted for Ty and his wife, Tina. We were both seated at the same table and a conversation began. He told me about his job and I told him about the Immanuel Quilt Ministry.
Soon Damon signed up to receive daily verses and devotions from an app on his phone. I stopped sending daily Scripture to him then, but we continued to check in with one another via his preferred method of communication-texting. Damon is good about periodically sending me messages. This year he was the first one to send me a Happy Mother's Day message.
Damon had gone out the night before drinking and the guilt and shame was weighing on him. I didn’t know exactly what to pray. Which Name of Jesus was I to call on? Our texting messages went as follows:
Me: Damon have you ever accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior? If yes, the Lord loves you and forgives you. There is no need for anxiety or guilt when you confess these things to Jesus. Tell me do you need the Peace of God to remind you of His love for you, or are you in need of the Savior because you’ve never given your life to Him?
Damon: I need the Savior.
I’ve shared His Story with the Immanuel Quilt many times, yet I still feel unqualified to lead someone to Jesus. I immediately walked into the other room where my husband Tom was and handed him my phone and said, “Here, take over.” He told me no. Damon trusted me. It was me he had formed a relationship with, me that he trusted. And it was me that needed to present him the opportunity to invite Jesus into his life. Praying first for the Spirit to help me, I grabbed my quilt notes and started typing my next message.
Me: Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead you will be saved. Do you believe what John 3:16 says? “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Damon: Yes. I believe.
After months of receiving the Word of God, the Spirit was convicting Damon of his sin. And just like that, Damon’s texted response saved his soul for life eternal. I was given the privilege to lead a young man to Christ-via a text message! Through Christ-another name was written down in heaven!
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season;
correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.
2 Timothy 4:2
7.12.17 Rockville Christian Church, Rockville, IN
If you accept my words and store up my commands with you -
then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
Proverbs 2:1, 5
Have you ever cut out a newspaper clipping? I have. I’ve kept a cartoon clipping of two frogs for nearly forty years. The caption reads: Well, I was a prince for a couple of years, but I kind of missed eating flies.
You see, Tom was my guy, my prince so-to-speak. One afternoon we stopped at the Berry’s Ice Cream Bar to treat ourselves to a milkshake. As we were sitting at the picnic table, for some crazy reason, Tom pulled the straw out from his cup to slurp its contents. Just as he did – a fly landed on the end of the straw. My prince charming swallowed the fly! I laughed so hard I could barely stand it. Or wait - maybe it was Tom who could barely stand it; barely stand me laughing at him.
06.27-28.17 Columbus, OH
My mother and I were in Ohio sharing the Immanuel Quilt at three different locations near the Columbus area. We went a few days early so that we could visit with my sister, Jami, who lives in Dayton, and her daughter, Megan, who lives in Columbus. We just don’t get enough girl time together - if you know what I mean. I was excited it was going to be their first opportunity to come to an event and hear His Story in a unique quilt. However, unforeseen circumstances arose and neither of them got to attend. Maybe next time.
Tuesday morning Mom and I arrived at the Heritage Golf Club in Hilliard. It was a nice bunch of women we met there. Comments received after sharing His Story were:
6.7.17 Ben Davis Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN
I was headed to speak to a group of seniors at the Ben Davis church. Senior citizens, that is. I love this age group, maybe that’s because I’m almost a part of it. Restaurant workers sometimes think that I already am, asking if I get the seniors discount. I get confused as to whether this should offend me, or please me. I usually smile at these clerks, and with a wink, tell them if they think I should have it, then I will gladly accept it. I had yet had anyone give me a discount for any meal.
5.7.17 Coal City United Methodist Church, Coal City, IL
After having had one Immanuel Quilt presentation in the afternoon, running out of gas and being led to an angel of mercy who would funnel me and my friend Nancy enough gas to get to the closest station – we finally arrived in Coal City, where we would be spending the night before sharing His Story the next day at a women’s luncheon after church.
We met Cathy, our hostess; a woman gifted with many talents including, the gift of hospitality. Cathy is an entrepreneur running a long time family business, a grandmother actively involved with her grandchildren, and a devoted member of her church. She is a meticulous housekeeper and an excellent baker. She had spent the day baking five three-layered cakes for the luncheon the next afternoon. She wasn’t only the baker for the event; she was the planner and organizer for it too.
5.6.2017 Winebrunner Church of God, Matoon, IL
My friend and I were in Illinois headed from Matoon to Coal City, and I ran out of gas! I know – who does this?
I had just finished speaking about the Immanuel Quilt and we were traveling to get to our next destination: Coal City. We were going to find the home where we would be staying the night before I would be speaking again the following day.
On our way to Coal City we passed through towns with plenty of gas stations. I just didn’t think to look at my gauge until after we had past them, and by the time I did, the needle was in the red.
I asked Siri, the woman on my phone, how far the nearest gas station was. She said, “Seven miles”. I assumed seven miles ahead, so I kept going. The vehicle started dinging its waring signal that I needed gas. After seven miles – we found no gas station. I got Siri on the phone again, and this time I asked for her to map me the directions. She told me to turn around!
5.5.17 Six Points Church, Sheridan, IN
An adorable little girl caught my attention. Seeing her in her lavender tulle dress, her pink cowboy boots, and the pearls around her neck, I couldn’t help but think of Jesus.
In the Gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, each tell a about a woman who broke open a jar of perfume to pour on to Jesus. These might not be stories of the same woman; however the similarities between them I believe point us to a beautiful thing.
All, but Luke, say the perfume was expensive. Mark and John say it was made of pure nard. In ancient times both lavender and spikenard plants were called nard. The perfume these women anointed Jesus with could have been spikenard or lavender either one, it doesn't matter. What does matter, and is notable is that e the woman in each story, in humble adoration, gave Jesus all that she had. They demonstrated their love and devotion to Jesus by giving their all. And, Jesus called it a beautiful thing. He said what they had done was in preparation for His burial.
My friend and mentor, Rosemary was laid to rest yesterday. She was 92 years old. I met Rosemary in 1977 when I was hired by the insurance company where she worked. The agency manager told me, “Follow Rosemary’s lead. As long as you follow her example, you will do well.” Those words couldn’t have been more true. She influenced me in so many positive ways.
After Rosemary retired she began doing volunteer work for the humane society. She transported animals from the local shelter to distant rescue groups in order to minimize the local euthanasia rate. She loved animals, especially dogs.
I was not a dog lover. I didn’t dislike dogs, I just didn’t love them nor want one. Rosemary was well aware of this fact. So she was thrilled the day I called her with a request to let me know if the shelter ever received a specific type of dog.
Our son, T.J, was then in his senior year. He told me for graduation he wanted a dog. A white Jack Russell Terrier with one black eye.
12.18.16 Corinth Church, Brownsburg, IN
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. John 14:27
It’s Christmas Eve. And it’s late. Still not too late though for me to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. This week I posted the above picture on Facebook with the caption, “The stockings are hung by the chimney with care in hopes….”
Last Sunday morning I was sharing a message of Hope with the Immanuel Quilt at Corinth Church. (Listen here.) A year ago on the same date I was mourning the death of my Dad, trying to function through the days between his death and burial. My focus, my hope, is not on St. Nick.
The day before Dad died I was in Fort Wayne speaking and Tom was with me. As Tom was asked to pray for a woman’s seventy-nine year old husband, named Glenn to come to know the Lord – we did not know, that in that moment, God was preparing to take my seventy-nine year old father, Glenn, home.
12.9.16 Harmony Baptist Church, Avon, IN
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 ESV
Ugh. Equipment failure again? Really? I had bravely ventured out on the first snowy day of the season to share the Immanuel Quilt with the Harmony Baptist Church women's Bible Study class. Trying to get my equipment set up I once again was encountering technical issues for what seemed like the umpteenth time of the week.
I was at Harmony, but not in Harmony. Harmony was the name of the small Indiana town in Clay County where Tom and I used to live. Even though it had been eighteen years since we had moved I was beginning to get "homesick" for my old Harmony. It was for that reason the name of this church had caught my attention and had drawn me to want to visit a Sunday morning service. I thought if I couldn't be in Harmony, maybe I could find contentment in being at Harmony Baptist Church. However, instead of allowing myself to be in peaceful harmony, I was masking my frustrations with my malfunctioning equipment
11.10.16 CWC at Camille's on the River, Mt. Pleasant, MI
Following the morning brunch in White Cloud, Tom and I traveled further north to Mt. Pleasant to stay at the home of Lona and Ralph. They had graciously offered to let us stay with them before the luncheon I was to speak at the next day. The evening turned out to be quite eventful.
We went to Bible Study with them at their church. The women were doing a prayer study based on the movie “War Room”. Little did we know that a 911 prayer call would soon be necessary.
11.9.16 Newago Area CWC, White Cloud, MI
On Election Day Tom and I were headed to White Cloud, Michigan for me to share the Immanuel Quilt to a group of eighty women, the Christian Women’s Connection the following day. Just before dusk we arrived at The Shack, the place where I would be speaking and where we would be staying. It was anything but a shack.
10,11.16 Vincennes Women's Connection, Vincennes, IN
Do you remember playing the telephone game as a kid? Well, I still play it. I like whispering things like: The leaves are changing colors. Would you like a snack? Or Jesus loves me into the ears of my grandchildren. Macy is the only one yet old enough to play the game with me. I have been known to whisper Macy loves Grandma in her ear just to hear her repeat it back to me. She enjoys whispering her own little silly messages to me to try to decipher.
10.10.16 Dubois County Women's Connection, Jasper, IN
The timing of my friend Mary’s inquiry couldn’t have been better. Her message popped up on my Facebook feed asking if I was ever going to be in southern Indiana to share the Immanuel Quilt. Mary lived in southern Dubois County and yes, I was going to be there soon.
Mary was excited for an opportunity to see the quilt she had only heard about. And tonight was the night. She was finally going to get to see the quilt designed by God.
Mary came. She brought with her eight friends. Eight! I’ve had fewer friends attend my childhood birthday parties. Her enthusiastic personality is contagious. The more you are around her, the more you want to be around her. No doubt her ability to pass along her enthusiasm is what caused her friends to want to join her.
10.8.16 El Bethel Baptist Church, Avon, IN
De ja vu. In May 2014, just a month after the Immanuel Quilt was completed I was at El Bethel Church for a Mother Daughter Banquet to share its story. And now, here I was again, this time for a Women’s Conference they were hosting for area churches. After having chosen a theme of “Quilted in Love” they decided I should return to share its story.
I have spent time and energy creating special quilts myself. Quilts made for my boys with love; a labor of love to encourage them to pursue their hopes and dreams.
T.J.’s quilt was made first. As a Boilermaker fan he was certain he would one day attend Purdue University. He did not. I now know eighth graders don’t always know as much as they think they do. However, because he assured me Purdue was going to be his school of choice, his walls were painted in black and white with a Purdue paper border separating the two colors. His room screamed Purdue with metal signs, pennants, and even a funky, gorilla sporting a Purdue jersey capable of shaking his bootie. Obviously, T.J. got a Purdue quilt.
10.7.16 Robin Run Village, Indianapolis, IN
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk
in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12
I was at Robin Run Village. Reverend Patty had invited me to the assisted living complex to share the Immanuel Quilt with the residents for their monthly gathering. Normally she asks one of their residents to speak and share their life story. You can imagine the interesting stories they can tell. They lived through the depression and wars, stories that shaped America. I hoped they would embrace the story I was about to share with them.
Oh, how they did! They loved God’s quilt. Questions were asked. The Lord was honored. And one gentleman, Mr. T I will call him, called out from his seat, “Wonderful!”
Each person came to get a closer look at the quilt. Mr. T came too. Steady on his feet with the aid of his cane, he came.
Mr. T told me his age. “Ninety-one” he said. With a grin he asked me to tell him how old I had thought that he looked. I said, “eighty-two” not sure if that was a compliment or not. He continued to smile and tell me his story.
10.2.16 Greenwood United Methodist Church
When our boys were young we used to have this monkey. Well, actually… it was a puppet. My husband purchased it so that he could entertain our boys with it. Tom’s golden furred monkey had long limbs that could be wrapped around his neck and waist to look like he was carrying it. The monkey would sit perched on top of the hall tree inside our front door waiting and ready for the next play time. Today I remembered when Tom used to take that monkey down from its tree and have it talk to the boys.
8.11.16 Tri-County Women's Connection, Milford, MI
Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God.
They were filled with awe and said,
"We have seen remarkable things today."
Our God is an Awesome God.
I was at Baker’s in Milford; an elegant restaurant and banquet facility. There I shared His Story in the Immanuel Quilt one final time before wrapping up with the Michigan tour. A small intimate group sat ready to hear about what they could see was a beautiful quilt
It didn’t take long for them to see the Invisible God and to realize He was the Master Designer for the Immanuel Quilt. His placement of very specific details caught their attention. Details with a specific purpose - to draw us to Him and to help us know Him better.
The flame of the Holy Spirit ignited. I saw tears trinkling down cheeks. Kleenix being dug out of purses. The Spirit of God was getting intimate, making Himself known. The women were filled with awe.
Tears couldn’t help but escape. Tears of Joy. Tears of sorrow. Tears of pain. God caught every tear in the palm of His hand.
The Almighty, Awesome God catches our tears too. He desires for us to place every burden and care into His loving hands. This does not diminish the sovereignty of God, but rather it shows the kind of relationship He wants to have with us…a close intimate friendship.
Drawing closer to God, one can’t help but to be filled with joy of being in His presence. Are you standing in awe of God? If not, ask Him to fan the flame of the Holy Spirit so that you may marvel at the beauty of knowing Him and honorably present Him your Tears of Joy.